I'm at a Starbucks in Encinitas right now, and I can't write too long because I'm supposed to be writing a story. Funny how that's so difficult when there's a deadline (even a loose one) attached.
It used to annoy me when Christmas stuff popped up too early. I always felt like it diminished my the excitement over decorations in late December when they'd been up since mid-October. But today is the fourth of November, and my coffee is in one of those little red and white Starbucks cups. When I saw the barista pick it up I wondered if stifling tears would be necessary.
Always I'm excited about Christmas. For any of you who have seen the movie Prancer, Jessie's character all but IS me as a child. I'm not rushing Christmas along this year; I hope it takes its time so I can celebrate it longer. I don't even want to skip Thanksgiving. I adore Thanksgiving--for some reason beginning to sing carols in November doesn't feel like it will damage Thanksgiving, like I always felt it would before.
Perhaps I'm more excited because home is rather far away and I'll be there come Christmas. I do miss home, but not in a longing and sad sort of way. I miss home in a way that makes me confident. Home is right there.
There's a joke with my friends at school (specifically those who are over most every night) that we're all a family. That's hardly a joke; the joke bit lies in our family name: Sheenerstapenkolousmansson. Obviously that's a fusion of our last names. The 'ner' is me. The friends who don't spend every single night at our house are the cousins with their own name which I can't remember perfectly at the moment. I only got the other name by copying it out of a facebook conversation. Needless to say, I've made some wonderful friends here. I've only known them about two months and wonder if I'm forcing attachment, but I truly don't think so. They're the type of friends I simply cannot imagine losing. I pray I'm a good enough friend to never lose any of them, even through distance. For any of you who remember this post, I definitely made the right choice. I can't imagine being anywhere else.
Maybe I'm so excited about Christmas because we've never had a Christmas together. Most of them have, but I haven't with any of them!
(Sidenote: suddenly I'm the only customer in this Starbucks. It's kinda creeping me out.)
Whatever it is, I'm excited. More than excited. Have you ever gotten that weird feeling in your chest? It's excited and almost euphoric, somehow both heavy and weightless, and even though you're so happy you almost feel a little unwell. It nearly feels like being afraid. It's the feeling you get when for a moment someone loves you. It's the feeling you get when walking with a friend through cold weather, but your friend isn't cold because he's wearing a scarf you made him.
